Why does it seem as though these days we are all so busy? What drives or motivates us to fill up our calendars, schedules, Blackberry’s to the point of no return. I know in these tough economic times we all feel the need to do our very best and work our hardest to ensure the security of our jobs. But at what cost to our personal lives. Do we even have a life anymore or is work what we live for?
Do we put as much effort and time with our friends and loved ones as we do our work? I know for one I do not. It seems we put forth so much quality effort in building personal relationships; we build these relationships because we know our friends bring sustainable value to our lives. We don’t make friendships with those that will bring us down or make us feel bad about ourselves. I choose my friends because they add something to my life; whether in a large or small way, each of my friends complete me.
So why then after so much effort in building friendships do we neglect them… I see my friends on Twitter and Facebook so I take for granted that they will always be around for me. But is that enough just to see their picture and a line or two. A good friend the other day asked me a question and I quote, “You know we all see each other on Facebook, but why doesn’t anybody ever reply or even say hey hello???” Do we feel better about ourselves by posting on a social site for our friends to view, and somehow that makes it ok for a little while longer…
Yes, I have heard it all before that at least we can keep in touch by utilizing these sites… Is that really enough though; we work at cultivating these relationships, but for what reason?
Are our friendships just trophies?
Do we collect friends just say we have them?
Are friends like gold stars we earn as we collect new ones?
I have been out with friends and their cell phone ring and the comments I often hear are; oh, it’s only John; oh, it’s only Mary! WTH, if they were important enough to be given your phone number, then why now are they, only John or only Mary???
Do we work equally as hard to retain our friendships as we do making them? I’ve realized that I need to spend more quality time with those friends I already have and work less on building new ones; for if I cannot spend quality time with those friends I already have; what the hell am I going to do with new ones!
Folks, let’s reach out to our friends and share a cup of coffee, a brew, cigar or whatever it was that brought our friendship together. Pick up the phone and reach out!
Friendships Are forever, let’s nuture them!
Art
Thought provoking post Art. Ya know I’ve had some of these feelings too. On the social network (sn) side… there are those friends that you know IRL that are also social network friends and sometimes it seems that we spend less time cultivating that sn friendship because they are IRL. Then there are those that are friends because of the sn… this I think takes much more time to cultivate… and then we get complacent and seems the friendship fades away. Such a shame and waste.
However, on the cell phone thing… if you are with a friend (Frank)… in person… and the cell phone rings… that person (on the phone) can usually wait. They are not ‘just John’… but we are doing a disservice to the friend that took the time to meet with you face-to-face… by answering the phone and talking to John. I value the face-to-face friend time enough to try to devote the time to that moment. When I am face-to-face with John I will do the same when Frank calls my phone. This, of course changes if its someone that you NEVER hear from on the phone (meaning it might be pretty impt), it’s a child, or a call you have been expecting.
Hey Grace, thanks for your comments on the piece. I find my myself more often relying on sn for staying in touch rather than on my face to face with friends. However, I am trying to work on it!
Art